Roll's Night Out
by SnowCalico
Summary: Mega Man's sister, Roll, decides to go out to the bar for a drink. Unfortunately, its a singles bar jam packed with retired Wiley robots.


  
Roll (Mega Man's sister, a maid robot) decided she needed a break from all the stress of keeping up after Dr. Light's labratory. As of late the Doctor had been trying to jazz up his life, and for 3 weeks had created nothing but Slut Bots out of the remains of the Spice Girls and Cameron Diaz. She approached the "Bolt Club", hoping they had Super Unleaded on the rocks.  
  
Inside the club, Dr. Wiley's retired bots sat getting drunk on Bloody Texacos and Getty Dacquiris just like every night since they'd been fired. Recalling how they "almost" defeated the "little blue asshole" and how it was always someone elses fault. Just then, Bubble Man (an outcast due to his obvious wussiness) saw a rare thing approaching the club... a FEMALE robot!   
  
"Hey look guys! It's Mega Man's hot sister!" he screeched, a few bubbles exploding from his face  
  
"Shut up Bubblebutt." the crowd snorted, as they always did. Nobody listened to Bubble Man.  
  
When Roll entered however, every bot in the place straightened up and began trying to remember a pickup line that got them to second base 5 years ago when they were celebrities. Roll was oblivious to the electronic eyes watching her, and stepped up to the bar. One of Wiley's bots that never made it past testing, "Bartender Man" was there to take her order.  
  
"Pardon ME miss." Bubble Man cleared his voice synthesizer "I'd like to buy you a drink!"  
  
"You're Bubble Man aren't you?" she asked  
  
"Um... yeah!"   
  
"Ew! Get lost! Wuss!" Roll hissed, blasting Bubble Man through the ceiling with her arm cannon. After a long applause for ridding the bar of him, other bots tried their luck. Snake Man was next.  
  
"Sssssay baby, howssss about you and me go ssssomewhere quiet and play with my tail." he boldly suggested  
  
Roll turned around and her eyes bulged out "AAHH! SNAKE! KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!" with that she took out her broom and beat Snake Man to death. Once she was sure he was dead and not a threat to her, she ordered her drink.  
  
Hard Man and Wood Man (who had become best buddies after years of being tormented about their phallic names) were in the corner booth plotting on how to get Roll.  
"Well, I say we bombard her with MILLIONS of leaves!" Wood Man smiled  
"Thats what you always say retard." Hard Man huffed "You're the reason we got thrown out of Friendly's."  
Wood Man wasn't paying attention as he was too busy throwing leaves at Metal Man, who was stoned because he'd been using drugs to escape his constant depression at having just a stupid name.  
"Metal Man.... WHY?! ALL THE FUCKING BOTS ARE MADE OF METAL!"  
  
Meanwhile, Pharoah Man had made his way to Roll's side. Now, Pharoah was known to be a ladies man. All his co-workers swore it was the hat, chicks dig the hat.  
"Bonjour, mon cherie!" Pharoah man crooned "May I.... offer you a dance?"  
Roll scoffed "You're Egyptian... why are you speaking in a French accent?"  
Pharoah blinked twice and said "Konnichiwa Roll-chan--"  
"Now you're speaking Japanese."  
"Hola--"  
"Spanish."  
"Ello-hay"  
"PIG LATIN! Are you really even Egyptian?"  
"No... actually I'm Canadian." Pharoah man weakly replied   
"Ok. Get away from me now." Roll replied  
Pharoah Man ran away crying like a little girl with his Labbat Blue in hand.  
  
At the bar two stools down, Guts Man (after chugging down his SlimFast, he'd had to gain 200 pounds for his job and had been desperatley trying to lose it ever since) was prodding Fire Man to try his luck. It was agreed his was the handsomest of the old timers. Fire Man just laughed nervously and looked longinly over at Heat Man. They'd been lovers for years, but nobody ever guessed they were flaming homosexuals. As Guts Man continued to poke, Fire Man got more and more pissed off. Finally he jumped up onto the counter and screamed "I'M GAY! I'M IN LOVE WITH HEAT MAN.... AND I'M PROUD!"  
Heat Man began to cry tears of joy "Oh Firey... I'm so HAPPY!"  
Fire Man leaped from the counter and pulled the ring off of Ring Man's head (causing him to die). With that Fire Man picked up Heat Man and whisked him away to a night of binary passion.  
  
Roll was starting to feel that coming here was a bad idea, when Sting Chameleon showed up and started talking about how great oral sex was and flexing his tongue.  
"I'm not into beastiality." Roll informed him   
With that comment, Spark Mandrill, Chill Penguin and Storm Eagle all left, looking very dissapointed.  
  
"Alright thats IT!" Roll thought "I've had enough of this. I'm going home where I can get some peace and quiet."  
  
  
Then all the bots did something they hadn't done in years, they got off their lazy asses and used their powers to try and stop Roll. Wind Man turned on his his fans, Magnet Man tried to keep a grip on her, Ice Man tried to freeze her and Skull Man tried to make her vomit by looking at his face. To no avail however, seeing as the bots were morons. Wind Man blew everyone into the bathroom, Magnet Man had 2 tons of silverware and pacemakers stuck to his head, Ice Man wasn't wearing his glasses and froze a dish of flan, and Skull Man started having his visions of being the bastard child of Skeletor. Roll did a double back flip over the mess and escaped.   
  
As she came closer to home, Roll heard a familar and plesant sound. The whirr of a vacuum cleaner! It was then she saw Dust Man, who due to an obsessive complusive disorder, felt the need to irradicate dust completely. She fell in love, someone who was as anal retentive about house cleaning as she! The two fell madly in love, but were run over by Dr. Light's car a few minutes later, and recycled into "Big Tits Man."  
  
The End  
  



End file.
